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February 06, 2008
Ash Wednesday
Ash Wednesday today. From ashes did I come, to ashes will I return.
It's not about me. It's not about my life. Though I know - in my head if not always in my heart - that God loves me and that he has a plan, I also know that his plan for my life might not be all roses. Heck, it might not even be dandelions that have a bright spot but are otherwise thistly or pesky.
I know that even though the circumstances of my life may suck He knows what he's doing and he's working it to his glory. Even - or maybe especially - when it doesn't feel like it.
Just like the story in the first book of Kings when the prophet Elijah called down fire from heaven to consume a (drenched) offering, when the prophets of Baal were trying all day to do the same of their god. When Yahweh sent fire in response to Elijah's simple prayer and it licked up every scrap of the offering And all the water it had been drenched with, Elijah was on a high. He realized, he knew in his soul, that God was with him, that God was protecting him. And then he slaughtered all the 450 prophets of Baal.
But then Elijah heard that Jezebel - the queen who worshipped Baal and employed all those 450 prophets of Baal - was out to get him. The queen was out to get him and he turned tail and ran. He was afraid. Depressed and afraid, he asked God to just let him die rather than face the queen. God didn't let him die, and he didn't get rid of the queen either. But he strengthened Elijah and he ran for his life.
How is it that in one afternoon, in the matter of a few hours, Elijah could go from such a high to such a low? From feeling so close to God to feeling the lowest, most worthless being on earth, wanting just to curl up and die?
That is a question I do not have the answer to my friends, but it gives me comfort. Why? Because sometimes I feel the same way.
your host for this episode : carrie; February 6, 2008 09:49 AM